In this world, we cannot deny that people are influenced by what is seen and heard. That even the Christian community struggles to keep the faith and avoid temptations around us.
We always see it on the television or other media, how young people are living today. Upon reaching age 18 years old, some thought they are adult enough to handle things. They go on regular night outs, hang with friends and learn vices such as smoking, weeds, liquor and being involved on gangs. What’s sadder is knowing some teens even below 18 years old are involved in such activities.
My very issue in this article is specifically about premarital sex. It’s around us and as the day passed, to some it’s becoming normal already but I really wish not. I respect those who had this experienced and I also believe that a baby even out of marriage is a blessing. But as much as possible, I wanted to help and take part in giving guides of how to avoid premarital sex. Please don’t hate me, I have no other intention but to share how saving your virginity be the best gift for your future mate on your wedding day.
Christian couples, I hope God leads you in reading this article.
What the Bibles says..
Psalm 119:9 -11 says:
How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word. I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands.I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.
You may know about this verse. You may be keeping it in your heart to safeguard your body. But then again with the influence around, Christian couples especially the younger ones forget about this and became focus with the world. It’s not always that you find a girlfriend/boyfriend within the church. Sometimes you have different beliefs. So makes you forget about His word sometimes. Even when both Christians, some circumstances lead them to doing it (premarital sex) because they lack guidance and got drowned by the feeling of togetherness. That even if we know what God says about immoral sex, we push these things behind the back of our mind.
How to say NO and why too much togetherness can be dangerous.
Proverbs 23: 19
Listen, my son, and be wise, and keep your heart on the right path.
Now, how can you do this?
- Set limits: Be wise in setting limits. Usually when going out on a date, a young man may feel that the girl is expecting him to initiate kissing and intimate gestures but sometimes it is not like that. So it is said that presumptuousness of someone may cause struggle but to consult each other brings wisdom. From the start, let the other person know about what you feel about that matter and wisely set limits of how you express affections. For when you started little and results to doing more unfamiliar things next time.
- Dress modestly & avoid wearing revealing clothes: Don’t give mixed out signals. When you know you’ve both set limits but wearing tight, revealing, sexy clothes can be contradicting and gives your partner a different message.
- Avoid tempting situations and date in GROUPS: Sometimes we go to a place with good intentions but the power of temptation depends on different circumstances. So it’s better to avoid being alone in the house, apartment or car of someone you’re dating. Especially avoid situations that might lead to intimate touching, petting and necking. So it’s good to be in a group of friends and hanging out in the public.
- Engage in worthwhile activities together. Instead of private dating, why not try on sports and other activities that let’s you have fun together. Be active at church if both Christians like Praise and Worship team and other ministries. Don’t isolate yourselves from other people and have fun with them too.
- Set curfews and avoid long goodbyes. When you feel too much attraction and affection with other, it’s good to part ways at that very moment. Ask the guy to take you home and observe curfews when going out at night. Avoid long goodbyes because you may be giving clue of not wanting to leave the place or separate. It may lead to spending more time just to express your longing for each other.
- A problem can’t be solve by another problem. Sometimes, when one of the couple is feeling low whether with personal
problems with parents, friends or school, he/she chooses to find comfort with the partner. May or may not be getting drunk, causing more trouble. You know what I mean?
- When it’s no, then it’s no. Be firm! Just when you know you’re starting to express affection physical through hugs and kisses, then be very watchful. Doing the same routine results to doing something else the next time you’re together. Just in case the guy starts to touch you intimately, or starts to kiss your neck -then tell him if you should stop. It’s your choice because at some cases, the girl may even agree and show being pleased of what is happening. Regret is always at last.
- Most importantly, friendship with God: Being close to Him guides you because you don’t wanna do things that might offend Him. He is the best comforter when you feel sad and low so get close to Him. Go to church together and know more about God than knowing more about your partner. Even couples who are struggling to avoid committing the immoral sin of premarital sex PRAY TOGETHER. When emotionally bothered, come together to Him.
The best girl is someone who loves God more than how she’s gonna love his future husband.
And the best guy is someone who would asked his future wife from God.
Disadvantages of premarital sex.
With the list I’ve come up to, the girl is affected the most.
-Risk of early pregnancy, when you’re not sure being ready yet.
-The risk that even resulting to pregnancy, the guy won’t agree for marriage yet.
-That even if the man agrees for marriage- mentally,emotionally,physically,socially and financially unprepared yet.
-Disappointment to the family and people around.
-Lack of focus in study or in school
-May result to repetition that even without marriage, man thinks it’s possible to actually do so.
-The risk of sexual diseases. The fact that the guy asked or pursued to do it out of marriage, he must have actually done it before with other girlfriends ahead of you.
-Lost of self value.
-The feeling of insecurity that the guy may cheat on you knowing he’s already got your virginity.
-Total submission to the guy because you’re trying hard to keep him as you have given yourself to him.
-If you end up separately, when you find the right guy who’s brave enough to take responsibility to marry you, you’d have the guilty feeling of why you haven’t waited for the right one so you can give him what he deserves to have.
The role of parents towards the young couples.
19 Listen, my son, and be wise, and keep your heart on the right path. 20 Do not join those who drink too much wine or gorge themselves on meat,21 for drunkards and gluttons become poor,and drowsiness clothes them in rags. 22 Listen to your father, who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old.23 Buy the truth and do not sell it; get wisdom, discipline and understanding. 24 The father of a righteous man has great joy; he who has a wise son delights in him. 25 May your father and mother be glad; may she who gave you birth rejoice!
Our parents have great roles in our lives and decision making. We make them proud of our success and when we fail, they will bear the pain much more than how we feel about it. They will always be right (in the Lord) or when they teach us what is written in the Bible. Let us consider their advice about our relationships because they want the best for us. Please do introduce your boyfriend/girlfriend to your family. It will at least give them sense of security that you are not hiding things from them. Enjoy moments together with each other’s family and siblings, that way it’s a clue if you are suited to be a part of each other’s family when you know you’re getting well with them. They will guide us.
Message to young dating couples:
May you find a God-fearing future mate who will love you and your family. May you be guided to be a better person that you will become likable to your future mate’s family too. Virginity is the best gift you can give to your future mate. Open the gift on the occasion day (wedding). Your future husband is the bravest guy to take responsibility in marrying you, to provide you everything that your parents was giving you before marriage. So he is also the most deserving guy to have your love and body. Please also take responsibility to take care of it. Sex is holy and wonderful within marriage. God Bless you dear young couples.